


Let me die

by Flaslove



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-30 21:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10172060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flaslove/pseuds/Flaslove
Summary: When Barry has savitar blade in him





	1. Chapter 1

"Barry hang on man" Cisco pleaded 

The team tried to work to keep the speedster alive, but they all noticed he was fighting against it.

"Bar?" Joe questioned 

"No do-dont call me that" the speedster said.

Joe looked hurt but he understood how Barry felt betrayed. 

"Bar-" Iris choked

"I said don't call me that" he spit out

"Barry I need to take this out" Caitlin pleaded as she placed a hand on the once blade of savitar 

"No!" Barry shouted 

"No?" Caitlin questioned 

"Mate we need to keep you alive!" Julian yelled 

"No!" Barry yelled brokenly "let me die!" 

"What" joe said as his face went white. 

"I SAID LET ME DIE!" Barry screamed as he rolled off of the bed and landed hard as he yelled out in pain.

"Barry!" Caitlin yelled as she went around to help the hero 

"No!!" Barry screamed. He sped across the room. He landed. Hard. Bleeding out more and more 

"Barry please" Iris pleaded 

"No" he looked back at Iris with betrayal in his eyes. It made a lump in Iris's throat   
"Don't think I didn't notice that you don't have a ring on your finger anymore! All of this drama! And pressure I'm sick of it! You make me feel like I'm constantly the one at fault. Yo-you'll never understand how much i truly love you.... so now I-I n-need t-to g-g-g-go be united a-again w-with m-my parents because the o-ones I love are either d-dead or they h-hate me." Barry finished dropping to his knees and passing out. 

Iris was in full tears knowing that she caused Barry that pain. 

Joe ran over as quickly as he could rolling over the hero. He couldn't even move. The kid he raised, taught how to shave. He watched him love, love Iris for Peet's sake. But now she hurt him more than ever. 

With one swift motion he pulled out savitars blade and started compressions. Caitlin ran over and started to stitch the wound. Barry would not die in vain today. 

\--------------------------------

When Barry woke up he was beyond livid that he was alive. He looked around and saw everyone and didn't say anything.

"Bar?" Joe asked

"Why didn't you leave me to die seems like that all what you want anyways." Barry screamed and sped out 

"BARRY!!" They all screamed.

Iris turned brokenly to joe 

"We need to find him... even if it kills us. I was so damn blind." Joe said as he turned to the team "we kept leaning on Barry to keep us up when we were down. We kept turning a blind eye to him. Heck we missed his own birthday HIS BIRTHDAY." He raised his voice while everyone winced "I'm going to devote all my time to find my son, to bring him home, to make him feel apart of the family again! Because right now we are treating him like trash!" Joe said storming out of the room 

-To Be Continued-


	2. Never leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry goes and stays in the speed force and gets Wally out

Barry sat there not knowing where he was and he didn't care. He was crying to much to care. He had no purpose anymore. He contemplated what he should do next, if either he should just end it right now or.... because they wanted Wally back sooo bad why doesn't he just run to the speed force and throw him back? 

That's exactly what the speedster went to do he kept running and running until he saw the breach open.

 

\-------------------------

"Have we found anything?" Joe asked the team 

They all couldn't face joe 

"Damn it!" Joe yelled as he threw the flash cowl that he had in his hands. 

"Dad please" Iris pleaded 

"No! I don't want to hear it Iris... Barry is out there hurt and alone thinking he has no one to turn to and nobody he can trust. You know Barry carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. So that's not just your lives. It's everybody's. Hell its the multiverse's life. Now we made him feel worse than he already does we need to find him before he-" joe couldn't bring himself to say it 

"We'll find him I promise!" Caitlin assured 

Just then Wally came speeding into the cortex. 

"Wally?!" They all asked

"Hey guys" he greeted 

"How did you get out?!" Joe asked 

"It's was....Barry. Wait i thought you all knew!" Wally said

"After you dissolved Barry got stabbed by savitar...the thing is he didn't want to be saved he completely passed out on us and when he woke up he ran away and he is feeling betrayed and he has every right to..." joe finished looking at Iris 

"Well I guess I should tell you. Barry took my place in the speedforce... I wasn't there for very long it was about half an hour but it was hell. By the time Barry got there he basically sacrificed himself for me. He had one final message for all of you. Joe Barry wanted to let you know how much he apriciated you and was thankful to you, he was sorry about not asking for your permission first to marry Iris but that didn't matter now. Caitlin Barry said that you were one of the best people Barry got to work with in his time being the flash. Cisco Barry wanted to let you know that he would've been honored if you were his best man and he wanted to let you know even though you had a rocky friendship that nothing would change the fact that you're best friends. And Iris.... Barry wanted to let you know that he loved you he really really loved you. He said that his things are yours now and he's sorry about what happened." When Wally finished the whole team was in tears. The young hero sacrificeing himself for the greater good. Iris felt beyond guilty and so did joe. 

"So you're telling me Barry our Barry went after all we did and still sacrificed himself to keep us happy? Well I guess that's exactly what he did he pushes his feelings aside so we can be happy and now he's suffering hell that he shouldn't have to go through." Joe said brokenly 

"I should've stayed" Iris sobbed "i should've believed him when he said he loved me but I let what Wally said get into my head." Iris cried 

They all stood there thinking the same thing. Barry sacrificed himself to suffer a hell that no one ever should go through. 

-to be Continued-


	3. Scared to death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry stuck in the speedforce team flash trying to get him out

This was a mistake Barry thought. This is hell. This is torchure. He sat trying to take his mind off of what he's been going through. 

He felt betrayed and lost maybe the hellish speedforce was for him. He sat there and cried until he heard a sound. He looked up and saw a time wraith coming for him. Yup this was defiantly speedster hell.

\-----------------------------------

Iris sat there crying in the cortex. She took out the ring and slid it back on. She wanted to feel as close to Barry as possible. Just then joe walked up and sat next to her.

"Why did I doubt him dad" Iris sobbed

"I don't know sweetheart" joe replied softly 

"All he wanted was to hold onto me and to cherish me..and there I went letting Wallys words get into my head thinking that he didn't really love me" she cried even harder "now he's gone" 

Joe didn't know what to say he couldn't do anything.

"Hey guys if you want to come see this you can but I'm going to vibe Barry" Cisco offered 

They walked into the speed lab seeing Cisco all set up to vibe Barry.  
Cisco took a deep breath and started the vibe. He wasn't prepared to see what he did. He saw the time wraith choking Barry and he went cold. He saw Barry trying to fight back 

"You'll never escape flash you'll be stuck here forever" the time wraith screeched 

It could talk? Cisco wondered. He saw Barry struggle and finally kick the time wraith 

"You will now be a prisoner of the speedforce flash" Cisco heard a new person say. Cisco looked over and saw the once alive Eddie Thawne. Eddie snapped his fingers and the time wraiths chained Barry up. 

"You will be Tochured for eternity! Because of what you took from me!" Eddie yelled as he started to beat Barry up ruthlessly. 

"No!" Cisco yelled as he saw Barry being torchured and he felt the vibe starting to fade.

Cisco took off the vibe glasses and wiped his eyes free of the tears that were threatening to fall

"Cisco? Did you see him?" Joe asked 

"Yea....yea I did" Cisco said getting up. 

"And?" Iris asked 

"It's not good we need to get him out as soon as possible." Cisco replied 

"Not good? What do you mean?" Wally asked 

"He's being torchured....by the time wraiths" Cisco didn't bother to mention Eddie because he remembered how Barry mentioned how the speed force took form in those you once knew. 

"Oh my god" Iris breathed out as she started to cry again. 

Joe couldn't take it he started to cry and he left the room. 

\-------------------------------

Barry hung there chained up bleeding and bruised. He whimpered in pain just wanting it to end.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen." The fake Eddie called out looking at Barry "well bye for now" he said walking out.

Barry wished that he could go back to life by himself.

\---------------------------------------

Team Flash sat there creating a plan on how they will get their Barry Allen back, and make him feel whole again. 

"We can't vibe him out again" Cisco explained "but I swear I will get him out of that hell before he.....he dies but it won't come to that" Cisco said walking out of the room.


	4. When will this hell end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Flash tries to convince to get Barry out of the speedforce

"UGH!" Cisco yelled in frustration 

"What is it Cisco? Did you find Barry?" Iris asked 

"I-I did.... We need to find him fast no pun intended i think there's a way I can physically vibe him out." Cisco responded "I'm going to try it" 

"Ok" 

Cisco started to vibe as he hoped to get barry out of there.

\-----------------------------------------

Barry layed there brokenly. He couldn't move at all or his body would erupt in pain. He hoped he could escape then he saw a light of hope. He saw a breach open in the speed force! Just then his vision started to fade as he saw a blurry figure of a man and hoped it was Cisco. Then he blacked out. 

"Barry Oh my God!" Cisco ran over to Barry and saw how beat up he was. Cisco felt for a pulse and almost cried of joy when he felt a faint one. "It's ok Barry I'm bringing you home." Cisco silently whispered more for himself than Barry.

He opened another breach as he scooped Barry up and prayed that Barry would hold on.

\----------------------------------------

Cisco opened the breach in the medical bay and layed Barry down on the cot. He ran over to the speaker system and pushed the button down

"Caitlin I need you in the medical bay stat!" Cisco ordered

In two minutes Caitlin came rushing in 

"Oh my!!" Caitlin yelled as she slipped gloves on "what happened?" She asked quickly as she took barrys pulse 

"I don't know" Cisco replied truthfully 

Caitlin saw that Barry had all of his ribs broken his cheekbone shattered, his femur broken, and a giant gash across his head. Barry's face was covered in blood so much he was unrecognizable. 

Caitlin and Cisco got to work stabilizing the young hero they prayed he would come out alive 

-To Be Continued- 


	5. Barry Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry shuts Team Flash out but will someone be able to bring him back?

Iris at in the Cortex waiting for Caitlin to come out with the news. Tears were streaming down her face. She hated herself for doing what she did to barry. She felt guilty. She hated that she listened to wally and walked out on barry. Caitlin walked through the cortex doors with her expression blank.

"Cait? Hows barry?" a concerned joe asked.

"Alive" Is all she responded 

"Can we go see him?" Iris asked brokenly. 

"I'm not sure if that's the best idea" Caitlin said 

"Why?" Joe pushed

"Well when he was awake he didn't say anything... he couldn't even bring himself to look at us." Caitlin said with sorrow in her voice 

"Well ok but, when he's healed will you send him home?" Joe asked 

"Of course" Caitlin said with a sad smile 

\------------

Caitlin gave the ok for barry to go home so that's exactly what he did. He got to his apartment door and stood there frozen not knowing to turn back or not. He finally walked in and sped up to the room. 

"Barry?' he heard a voice call. Well great Joe was there barry thought. Joe walked into the room and saw barry standing right there. Barry's back was facing him. "Bar?" he questioned. He grabbed barry's shoulder and turned the young man around. Joe looked at barry and gasped. The shape barry was in looked terrible. Barry had a few grey hairs in the front of his hair. His eyes clearly showed that he hasn't slept at all in the past four days. 

"How are you feeling?" Joe pushed. After barry didn't respond for a good minute Joe realized he hadn't heard Barry's voice in a good five days. 

"Bar?" Joe pushed even further.

"I'm fine" Barry finally said

Joe thought Barry's voice sounded dull, without hope, broken. Thats when Joe also realized Barry's eyes weren't that Light blue green they all looked upon and loved. They were grey. They say the eyes are the window into the soul. They are right. Barry looked shattered. 

"Well Iris will be home soon to cook lasagna" Joe said to boost Barry's spirit but Barry just tensed. 

"Ok" Barry tried to sound happy " I'm going to take a shower first turns out staying in the speedforce for 3 days feels disgusting." Barry finished as he walked into the bathroom.

\---------------

For the last week all the team has gotten out of barry is 'I'm Fine' or 'ok' Iris was sick of it. She wanted her Barry back the one that kept an open mind in all odds. She found barry sitting on the treadmill in the speed-lab with his face in his hands. She was about to say something but then she heard sniffling. She realized Barry was crying. She got a major lump in her throat thinking she was the cause of it. 

"Bar?" she choked out. 

He got startled but didn't move. 

"Barry? what's wrong and don't say you're fine because I know you aren't!" Iris spoke softly. Barry Just looked broken he looked at iris and just broke down and started to cry and he leaned up against iris and cried his eyes out. 

"hey, shhhh its ok" Iris comforted barry. "hey look at me" Iris brought Barry's chin up so he could look at her. "I love you more than anything. I was stupid that night not to realize it.. I love you Barry Allen!" Iris finished and she swore a bit of light came back into the speedsters eyes. Iris brought her lips to barry's in a gentle movement. When they separated barry rested his head in iris's shoulder completely exhausted. He shot up and he looked at the corner and jumped away.

"Barry?" Iris looked over to where his eyes were glued with fear 

"Please d-don't hurt me" Barry pleaded over where the corner was. 

"Barry!" Iris stood up and walked over to him and tried to snap him out of it 

"P-please d-don't" He collapsed to the floor.

"Barry!" Iris screamed "Someone help!" she yelled to the cortex she heard footsteps and she heard Joe and Caitlin panicking.

-To Be Continued-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue This series Yes or Nah


	6. Chapter 6

"What Happened?!" Caitlin exclaimed coming over and seeing what happened. 

"I don't know!" Iris responded

Iris looked down at Barry. She saw his eyes wide open. He didn't pass out. His breathing was very uneven. He looked like he was in shock.

"Barry?" iris questioned

"Don't hurt me please, please..." He kept saying 

"Barry you're safe no one will hurt you!" Joe tried to calm Barry. Then barry let out a ear splitting yell in pain. His eyes turned black and black lightning engulfed him. 

"What the Hell? Barry can you hear me?" Joe yelled. He was having a seizure. 

When the seizure was over with Barry just stared up at the ceiling not moving.

"Barry?" Joe asked 

"Oh God!" Was all Barry could get out "I'm ok" He said sitting up.

"Hey stay down." Caitlin advised.

"No I'm good its...justthespeedforcetorchuringmebecauseIgotout." He said silently and quickly.

"What? slow down. English please." Joe said

"The speed-force is still trying to get at me for escaping it. They are still trying to attack me." Barry said frightened. "I guess they are getting their wish...not long until..." Barry cut himself off.

"It won't get to that barry we won't let it" Iris said reassuringly 

Barry stood up and walked off. He didn't want everybody to see the tears forming in his eyes again. 

\------------

Barry walked into the CSI lab at CCPD and saw julian. Barru wasn't looking forward to seeing him. 

"Allen? oh my gosh mate how is it going!" Julian asked happy to see barry

"Good" barry blandly said.

Just then Barry saw something in the corner of his eye and decided not to pay attention to it. Julian and barry talked for hours about how different the two experiences in the speed-force were for barry. Barry got up because his evidence processor was done and just as he finished looking at the evidence he looked up and saw another time wraith coming for him. He was knocked straight on his back. Julian hadn't seen what happened but when he saw barry on the floor groaning in pain he knew something was wrong. 

"Allen?" Julian questioned scared for barry

"It was a time wraith. The speed-force still wants me. Its hunting me until I......I die." Barry said bitterly 

-To be Continued-


	7. Time to die.

Barry was scared. Out of his mind scared. How could he defeat the time wraiths. He was sitting on the living room couch contemplating on what he would do. It was now 2 In the morning and Barry hadn't slept yet.

"Barry?" he heard iris call from the bedroom. He didn't want to respond, he didn't want to feel anything.

"Barry? hey you shouldn't be up! hey come back to bed" she said

"Can't" He replies bluntly. Iris came over and sat beside him.

"Is it the speed-force?" Iris asked out of curiosity

"Yea... the seizures keep threatening to come back and with each time they subside i can feel the time wraiths breathing down my neck waiting for me to fall asleep so they can strike." He says with a far away look in his eyes.

"Bar.." Iris said trying to be brave for Barry's sake. "Don't worry we'll keep you safe."

"That's the thing." Barry chokes "I don't think anyone can!" He finished as he started to break down.

Iris felt terrible for Barry. Barry had always been the one to be strong in hard times and now he had to deal with the fact that he may die. In that moment iris acted fast. She grabbed Barry's chin and brought him in for a gentle kiss.

"I know that i love you...and I will do anything to protect you!" She said wiping tears away from Barry's eyes

He just sat there and stuck his head on her shoulder

"I know Barry, I know" Iris said trying to comfort Barry "Now come on lets get to sleep" She said taking Barry's hand and leading him up to the room. She laid the speedster down and sat with him until he fell asleep. She figured she would call Julian to let him know that Barry would be staying home. For now she sat by Barry's side vowing that she'd never leave him again.

==========

AT STAR LABS:

Barry was sitting with Cisco talking about the newest update with meta's.

"You ok man? you seem on edge" Cisco commented

"Yea well you know I'm feeling great considering the speed-force wants me dead." Barry replied

"Oh dude I'm so sorry I forgot." Cisco said apologetically

"Don't worry about it man...wha-whats that?" Barry questioned

"Whats what?" Cisco asked back

"That noise it- it belongs to something that's familiar...Oh my God its-" Barry was cut off by a time wraith tackling him. It screeched and started to attack Barry

"Barry!" Cisco yelled as he pressed the panic button to alert the others

"Now Barry Allen" The time wraith screeched "Time to die!"

To Be Continued


End file.
